A New Beginning: Short Story

I

My mother in law was a local politician and had contacts with the rich and influential people of our city. She had an air of authority and control about her and one would have to think twice before speaking to her. While at home, when she was not shouting at a servant or arguing with my father in law, she could be found standing in the kitchen with one hand on her waist and the other holding a coffee mug and instructing the cook in a harsh tone. I had seen the strained look on the cook’s face when she was around.

The events of that fateful day had been forever etched in my memory. Me and my husband had visited the family doctor that day and without my knowledge or consent the gender of my baby was tested. I was unaware of it until I reached home. On reaching back home, mamma had categorically told me to abort the baby. My mouth went dry and in that state of shock all I could say was, ‘I am feeling dizzy. I need to take rest.’

I went upstairs to my room. Food and fruit juice had been sent to my room. I ate and lied down on the bed, trying to figure out what just happened. I will not abort the baby at any cost. This thought gave me relief and I fell asleep. It was 5 pm when I got up. Time for evening tea. I went downstairs in the big lobby. Everyone was already there.

‘Tomorrow morning we will go for the abortion,’ she said.

I was prepared for this conversation. I replied in a low voice, ‘I want to keep the baby.’

She held out a sigh of disbelief and stood up. ‘I knew it. From the look on your face I could decipher it in the morning. However, I did not think that you would have the courage to disobey me! We brought you to this house because we thought you would be an obedient bahu.’ The dog lifted his head to look at the happenings and lazily went back to sleep again. My courage was depleting.

‘Either you abort this child or divorce my son,’ she declared with her expressions hardening and her gaze getting intense. She stood up and went into her room.

Daddy was sitting on the sofa and reading newspaper. He was a retired college professor and avoided confrontation with his wife. He looked at me and said, ‘Beta please try to understand. We have big properties in Delhi and Haryana. Do you think a girl can take care of it? She will get married and go to serve other family one day.’

Tears trickled down my eyes and I nodded. Without finishing my tea I got up and came to my room. Akhilesh was sleeping. He sleeps most of the time and when he gets up he either goes to visit his friends, plays video games or places orders from nearby eateries. After few weeks of our marriage I had discovered that he had started a business three years back but had failed miserably. After that he had been doing practically nothing because he did not want to start a new business and the idea of working in an office was ‘deplorable’ to him. However, I liked him because he was always very nice to me. He used to fulfil my every wish and take care of all my needs.

II

I had been married for almost a year then. My papa was a retired clerk and mummy a home maker. Brother was studying in high school. We were a middle class family. Mother had always given emphasis on our studies and she wanted me to complete my studies before I got married. It was a sleepy Sunday afternoon when I overheard mother’s concerned voice from the living room, ‘She is only 22. Why do you want to get her married so soon? Let her complete her MA at least.’

‘Hansa, she can study once she gets married,’ father reassured her.

‘I had some inkling about it from last year when we went to their niece’s wedding. Mrs Sharma was asking me earnestly about Roma.’ Mother continued, ‘I did not tell you because I thought you would definitely not want her to get married at this young age.’

‘I did not. But how can you say no to such rich and influential family? I still do not believe they themselves have contacted me for my daughter’s hand. They do not even want dowry.’

‘Okay let her decide for herself,’ mummy asked and called my name aloud.

I was happy that mummy asked me my wish, for I myself could not have initiated this topic.

Mummy was not happy when I replied in affirmation and questioned me, ‘I thought you wanted to do PhD after MA. How will you do that if you get married?’

However, before I could speak, papa came to my rescue and repeated what he had said earlier – that I could finish my studies later. After a lengthy discussion, she finally surrendered.

Marriage date was decided. I was happy.

Me and Akhilesh talked on phone in length about our future plans. He was nice, funny and charming. No matter what I say or do, he never got angry with me. However, there was a major apprehension that I had. He could tell me in detail about his mother’s opinion on any matter. Nonetheless, he rarely had his own views. One day I said in a funny tone, ‘you are such a mamma’s boy. Do you not have any thoughts of your own?’ He laughed and said, ‘won’t you want your son to obey you?’ ‘Yes I would want him to obey me. But I would like him to have his own opinions about the world too,’ I said. ‘Roma, I love my mother very much. She is everything to me. I can never, under any circumstances, disobey her,’ his voice was steady and there was no trace of laughter in it. ‘But we will bring up our son in a way that he disobeys us all the time,’ he chuckled.

Though I was not happy with his reply I laughed too.

That evening mummy asked me about Akhilesh, ‘Roma you have been talking to him for over a month now. It’s a good enough time to know about someone. What do you think what kind of person is he?’

‘Mummy he a very nice guy,’ I said.

‘Have you asked him if he is okay with the idea of you doing PhD after marriage?’

‘Yes I have. He is completely okay with it.’

That was a lie. I had not mentioned PhD at all. All I told him was that I would have to give my MA final exams next year.

‘That’s good. Keep on talking. It will tell you a great deal about him. No one can pretend being someone else for long.’ There was a momentary pause where she seemed to be arranging her thoughts into words, ‘Does he tell anything about his mother?’

I was prepared for that question. I said cautiously, ‘he doesn’t talk much about her. Why do you ask?’

‘I have met her twice and cannot make up my mind for her. She is overtly sweet with me, while with some she is very harsh. I have seen her scolding their driver, that Ratan Singh who came with them on teeka and even her own husband. There is a contradiction in her behaviour.’

‘May be you are over thinking.’ I did not want her to get worried. I had known by then that Akhilesh was under her mother’s control but I had told myself that once we get married everything else would be fine.

III

But things were far from being ‘fine.’

Regarding my abortion, Akhilesh had made it clear that although he loves me very much his first priority will always be his mother. ‘Why are you being so stubborn? This girl inside you doesn’t even know about her existence, let alone her death,’ he had almost mirrored his mother’s thoughts.‘But we know it Akhilesh. Do you want to be a murderer?’ I was weeping. His expressions softened. After trying to convince me for more than fifteen mintues in vain he finally said, ‘Okay I will try to convince mamma. But I cannot say anything with certainty.’ He coaxed me and urged me to stop weeping. He told me that he loved me and when I deliver a boy next time, everything would be fine.

It was seven in the evening when I came upstairs to my bedroom. I lied down besides him. Heavy curtains were drawn in the windows. Both outside and inside were dark.

My mind was numb and I couldn’t think of anything. Tears were flowing down my eyes. It was a dark pit I had fallen into. I called up my mother and told her everything. She was mortified to hear that. She assured me and said my father will come to pick me up next day.

IV

Papa came next morning to take me home. I could hear my mother in law threatening him of dire consequences if we do not abide by her wishes. She said she wouldn’t let me go. Papa was silent during her diatribe but when finally he spoke his voice was as clear as a morning sky, ‘madam you are a politician. How do you think media will react to this case?’ There was silence. Papa called me aloud. I went to the living room with my head down and my bag trailing behind me. I glanced at Akhilesh who was looking in my direction but not making eye contact.

Papa got up. ‘Let’s go,’ he said.

Nobody bothered to say goodbye to us. And we left like an unwanted guest.

V

It was late morning when we reached home. Papa paid Rs 80 to auto-wallah and picked up my bag. Mom had come outside on hearing the sound of auto. She was standing on the ramp with her apron on and scrub in her right hand. Water was tripping from it. She gave me a brief hug and asked me how I was. I said I was good and somehow controlled my tears. We all came inside and she carefully closed the iron gate behind us.

‘You look tired Roma. Eat and then take some rest. Lunch is ready.’

‘Yes mummy.’

I went in my room where my brother’s book were all spread on the bed and changed my clothes. It was nice to be in the familiar surroundings. During lunch time mummy updated me about my aunts and cousins, and Papa told me how Nikhil wasted his time on his new android phone all day. There was no mention of my in laws, which in that situation seemed forced to me. But it was a nice distraction from my woes.

I slept for four hours and Nikhil’s voice woke me up. He was talking with mummy.

I was annoyed at this disturbance and came in the living room rubbing my eyes, ‘can’t you speak in a low voice. You woke me up.’

‘So go and sleep where people talk in low voice.’

‘Mummy look how he is talking to me.’

He was laughing and before mummy could say something he went to the terrace where ‘mobile network was good.’

Mummy gave me tea and asked me earnestly, ‘What is your future plan Roma?’

The brief moment when I had forgotten my problems had gone and I was again a married and pregnant woman who is abandoned by her in laws. Looking down to the floor and fighting back my tears I said, ‘I would continue my studies.’

‘That’s great. So when are you going to visit your professor?’

I knew she wouldn’t settle for anything later than tomorrow. She never had liked to procrastinate things. ‘I will go tomorrow.’

‘Okay. I will pack tiffin for you. Talk to him in detail about everything, including your scholarship. The sooner you start the better.’

I was hoping to hear some sympathetic words. May be she understood, mothers have a natural instinct to read their children’s mind, and said, ‘Roma I know this is a very hard time for you. But stop feeling like a victim and think of yourself as a strong woman. We become what we think.’

‘I should have listened to you earlier,’ I felt ashamed of myself.

‘We learn from our mistakes. Life is an exam where the syllabus is unknown and question papers are not set. Will there be any point in giving the exam if we knew the questions beforehand?’

‘My life is taking my exam in a language unknown to me. How can I even read the questions?’

‘Have faith in yourself.’

Next morning I went to visit my MA professor and he told me that I had to clear UGC-NET exam for scholarship. However, I could get registered in PhD without scholarship in June. It was nice because by that time my MA result would also be out. The talk with my mother the previous day, had given me hope. That hope was further strengthened with the positive meeting with my professor.

Nonetheless, en route to home Icouldn’t help myself from thinking about Akhilesh and how things went wrong between us.

When I reached home I found mummy sitting on a chair in the little lawn of our house. She was knitting a sweater for Nikhil. I opened the iron gate and went inside. Brown and green coloured woollen balls were lying on the dry grass and moving intermittently. ‘The professor agreed to enrol me in PhD,’ I blurted out the news. She started at me for few seconds and then said, ‘Akhilesh called. He was apologizing and wants to take you home. His mother has reconciled and he will call you.’

I was speechless. What made my mother in law change her mind? I was sure it must be Akhilesh who had persuaded her to do so.

Suddenly everything went blank. The only thing I remembered after that was a loud disturbing noise. My mobile was ringing aloud and mummy was splashing water on my face. She looked concerned, ‘are you okay? You fainted! Did you eat the lunch I packed?’

Akhilesh was calling. ‘Do you want to talk?’ mummy asked.

‘Yes.’

She gave me a quizzical look and gave me the phone.

I picked it up. Akhilesh told me that he had convinced his mother to keep this baby and get me back. He beseeched me to come back.

‘Akhilesh I am not coming to that house ever. If you really want to live with me and my daughter you can come here and we can find a separate place for us.’ With this I cut the phone. Me and mummy were still sitting on the floor.

Mummy’s expressions were relieved. She helped me to stand up. ‘Roma, today you passed the first exam life threw at you. That too with flying colours!’

That was eighteen years back. I knew Akhilesh was never going to leave his mother’s house. Our divorce process went swiftly. I found happiness and solace in my own little world that the thought of remarriage never came to mind. I completed my PhD and had opened a coaching centre. Reena is seventeen year old now. She is doing BA in History and wants to become a teacher. I am sure she will be a damn good one.